I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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