chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
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