Moan for me like Helen Keller
and you said cock pushups were impossible
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
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