So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Randomize
