is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
