Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
you traded sex for a burrito?
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
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