I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
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