Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
Randomize