drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Randomize
