ya dads aren't the best wingmen
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Randomize
