Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry Allah hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(636): View more from Missouri

I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani

Fav 6 1120 1703
share tweet
(816): View more from Missouri

Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.

Fav 9 3186 829
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(443): View more from Maryland

party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there

Fav 10 970 3553
share tweet
(773): View more from Illinois

Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.

Fav 22 4220 862
share tweet
(902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.

Fav 10 3556 1707
share tweet
(813): View more from Florida

Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..

Fav 5 1818 869
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(603): View more from New Hampshire

Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.

Fav 6 1440 859
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(804): View more from Virginia

She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks

Fav 3 1161 424
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(502): View more from Kentucky

She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"

Fav 0 24 39
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT