It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Randomize
