i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
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