He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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