do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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