we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
