his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Randomize
