Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize