does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
She even gives head with a lisp.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
