Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
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