I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Randomize
