i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
There r osticjed everywhere
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I got inside last night via doggy door
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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