After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
