That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
if i died would you start the facebook group?
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
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