Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
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