my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
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