So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
