Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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