forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
