There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
