well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize