How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
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