Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
