I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Randomize
