Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
