I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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