its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Randomize
