Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Randomize
