ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Randomize
