it's too hot outside to masturbate.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Randomize