I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
