Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Randomize
