There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
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