He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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