She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Randomize
