I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize