I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
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