You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
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