Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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