did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
