yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
