i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
