You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
farters have to be the big spoon...
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
