I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
