I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
