But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
