the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Boobs speak an international language.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Randomize
