it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
