Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
