God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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