Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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