Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
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