I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
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