I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
